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Mar 22, 2023Liked by Michael Maciel

I'm not sure I am intelligent anymore. I always thought I was but I'm suspect now. I am a programmed

magnet for what I like and tend to reject what triggers me, which is a lot lately. But I sit in awareness feeling what is triggered, knowing it will move through - avoidance is no answer anymore but forcing myself to ingest something "just because it is good for me to face reality" has been overdone. I'm kind of over "processing."

I like this "awareness" space. I sat observing people in Walmart as I got my taxes done the other day

and I didn't analyze anything - I just came up with a question "How does God think up all these people?" It was just a joy to watch passerby - each with their own business in process, none looking at me to connect - a relief just to observe life passing by for no other reason than sharing the same space at the time. I do like "new" but mostly life at this time seems "recycling the unnoticed."

Feeling just seems like the new thing to me. I never realized I felt so much in a day. When you retire there's no more compartmentalizing and roles- just indolence from "what today?" Yet, I feel more alive

than when I was busy just because I notice when I stop breathing. But as I get out and about more

observing my thoughts as I observe the world - more impersonal than when I took everything personally. My "intelligence" says "produce, produce, produce" and awareness says "what?"

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